it's been 9 months since you passed away

I guess I will have to find a way to go forward, but I still miss him so much. This is by far the worse loss i have experienced. I am a shell of what I was to never return to the happy go lucky-good guy I was because of my wife. Thank God, we have 4 children and 10 grandchildren. And all you can do is float. This is a terrifying thought for the newly bereaved, to think that its not going to be a steady climb upwards in grieving and healing, and I dont share this to scare those who are in their very early days. I just had another cry and heart wrenching moment after 1 year and 10 months. Its becoming real and it sucks. My husband became an alcoholic 8 months before he took his life. I feel like Im never going to have a good day again. That is a revealing statement and I think your church, which is a family, will prove to be a lifesaver. Brain tumour April 2017 blood clots July 2017 diagnosed with moderate cold August 2017 op for brain tumour Nov 2017 death of mum Nov 2017 deep vein reflux June 2018 he was my rock my life my only ever love and he is gone. i should have died not him he was extremely known birdwatcher with so much energy went all over the world I let him go I said be happy do what you want to be happy had more energy than I did walked dogs twice a daytil he died all organs died thar weekend toxic shock pneumonia was in all organs toxic shock syndrome pneumonia was throughout all his body got cancer from 1996 toxic water from crestwood ill water by mayor to make money let water combine with waste from the dry cleaners there had cancer 17 years of cancer. i could be just reading a magazine and something pops up she used to like. Maybe I am just waking up to the reality that suffering is unavoidable and that pretending away death does a disservice to everyone including myself as it makes me bitter and more resentful. Eileen, I can relate to how you feel. He was sick for 6 months and then passed. I was compelled to write this because I have no where or no one to talk to about this emptiness that I fear that nothing will ever fill this emptiness because I have lost the past present and future. I do have friends and church family that will not allow me to stay inside for very long. I totally understand. - Unknown. I wonder if it will ever get better. For me, Everyday is a shocking reminder that my husband is not with me. But mostly hurt and emptyness. Just like so many of you who have graciously shared your journey here, when grief came, I too found myself unable to stand, lying on the floor and calling out his name, over and over again. My heart is breaking. Jean Marie Feils, 82, of Plainview, passed away February 24, 2023 at St. Mary's Hospital in Rochester, MN. Perhaps- try some see a doctor about taking some thing mild to help you sleep but avoid dependence on sleep aids. amen to all. Much love. She was just 51 years old and bravely battled cancer for six years. And other waves will come. I thank the Lord for giving me life but living is one of the most difficult things Ive ever had to do. Often I would repeat No, No, No to the point where it began to be so compulsive that it worried me. I lost my French wife nearly the same condition. But tied together since day one.And that was how it really was. Life is not stagnant. I am just hoping, somehow it will help to get it out. All they bring is grief. I dont have any words of advicejust know that I care that youre having a hard time. His cancer was a rare and aggressive form and he was gone within 6 months of his diagnosis. Trying to figure out how Ill ever move on and know I have to. I have maintained same treatment for 1 year longer than we were together. I am in the second year, 20 months ago I lost my husband,my sole mate after 31years&8 months of doing everything together,always by each others side,this is the hardest thing I have ever had to face! This year he would have retired. It has given me some techniques to address when a wave hits to create some space to be able to take a breath. In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. Theses waves of grief dont last all day, as they did last year, but they are intense when they do happen, yet short. My husband has been gone for 5 1/2 months now and there are days I am almost immobile with the grief; I didnt even know it was possible to cry this hard or that it could actually cause physical pain to grieve. She was simply the best person I ever knew. I have a son who is 13 from a previous marriage, and he is the only reason I stick around. For the first month I couldnt have a conversation or finish a sentence. just realized recently that this will not get any better at all. I would like to contact to Emma J Andrews. I feel so hopeless and Im just tired of feeling like this. Even though it has been a long time, it's still hard to believe that she's gone!. I went online and read countless stories from others. Im half the person I was. She would know it was no tribute to her love that I cease to even love myself and the precious moments of life I still have. I pray daily that God would take me so that I could be with my wife. We did not have any children its just me & my 4 dogs & other pets that we both adored. The first few months of the second have been harder for me than any of the FIRSTS of the first year, Miss him everyday, My mom passed last May of 2017 and it will barely be a year this May and I dont know why but I am having a hard time, harder then when she first passed. I continue to struggle with that every single day. My youngest son had to see how she looked and one of my stepsons had to help move her to the floor as 911 talked me through CPR. I so feel everyones painandI am so sorry, Dear Holly Just read your email and do know how you feel I as with my Husband for 59years Married for 56 of them he passed away just over a year ago, We said we would be around till we were 90 as we were never ill really enjoyed good health, Then he wasnt well one night and went to Hospital and a junior Doctor used a wrong catheter and after that he was never the same and a year later he died. I find that if I force myself, my anxiety goes way up. No wife or kids. Losing a Brother I hear very little about. My son took me shopping after my husband died and there was almost nothing I could eat that didnt remind me of him. I wont do away with myself, but hope someday soon, it will be over. Now, I dont cry as often. He had lost all his motor skills but not his brain and had 2 holes in his brain. My husband of 37 yrs passed away July 25 2018. It is almost relieving to have a physical representation of what is occurring on the inside. However he ended up with 3 stage ulcers . What if he knew he was sick and just didnt want me to know? Im so sorry. I lost my husband 20 months ago. Im sorry for your loss. I truly am because we as grievers know that loss is not the complete word. What that means is that Ive survived (so far) and a lot of people Ive known and loved did not. @@i lost my daughter May 2, 2018. For me, that reuniting may be when Im shipped back to the USA to be buried alongside him. I also listened to grief counselors online. from everybody else. Im in month 25. These powerful first-person stories explore . Roger. The what its are going to kill me. He had lung cancer but had been ill for years and I cared for him all that time . I was totally blank, dont know what to think nor what I feel, totally felt nothing. We had plans to move to a Sr. I wish you the best on your journey. foward with the huge hole in my I cry all the time, my co-workers dont even ask anymore because they know. I hate crying and find myself doing it more and more lately. May God bless you all and help you to overcome your grief.. I lost my mother Nov. 2013, my father march 2015, my stepmother feb 2016, my mother in law march 2016, my son may 2016 and his father july 2016 This is one year I will never get over. Its been A year and I cry every day and cant enjoy anything. I believe that it will always be a part of my life. Therapy has really helped integrate my anger. It works. I cant see how to live like this; no future. visitors from Social Media Sites (referrals) Survivors guilt hit me like a ton of bricks and I begged God to let me trade places with them. We been together for 46 years. Do not look for proof of this, proof doesnt matter, facts dont matterthe only way your husband will be close by is through your own actions. Operation, trial drugs immunotherapy, radiation..and they came back worse every time till they couldnt do anything else. He was honestly the best thing that ever happened to me life was finally good. Anyway it felt good to post this here. But for now, that seems unlikely because when I dare to look out, all I see is the hazy, drab-blue sameness an endless ocean. I lost my firstborn precious child, my 10 year old son a few days away from 14 months ago. I still cry for him. It seems I put so much of me into trying to get through the first year for our adult children, somehow the pain of the second year is catching me off guard. I work full time sometimes 14 hours a day and Im exhausted. There are no rules about how you . It still hurts and i wish it didnt. I will forever hate myself. Even though we had hospice care, there was so much confusion about what was happening to her and if she was getting the right treatment; there was so much decision-making which is fatiguing; the living room where she slept for the last three months became cluttered with medical supplies and bottles of pills. Im more insular now and dad wouldnt want that I know but Ive slways been a bit one bitten twice shy. I know thats not possible and I told myself early on that my life had changed forever and I am still trying to get used to the new normal That doesnt stop the pain, though! Sometimes, when Im having a bad day, that pain makes it hard to breathe. He died in my arms. Then reality hits home so hard in the gut, I found my self holding back the tears because one I was pregnant with my 3rd son and second I didnt. Take care all of you & we know were not alone experiencing this. i pray for all my friends that are suffering to die soon they are lucky to tell loved ones so long. It seams harder now than the first year.I am always wondering will it ever be better or will life just be like this,just go through the motions.I lost a son 16 years ago my mother passed 5weeks before he did,I made it threw that but this so different,no (one can understand that),this hurt goes beyond that for me,does it ever get any better? There are no winners, are there? When he died, a part of me died with him. A verse in the song does Its not something you get over, its something you get through anyhow sorry for the long story sometimes it helps. I beg for at least a sign, that he hears me, and nothing yet I still see you in my dreams on many nights and wish you never had to leave us. "Although it's difficult today to see beyond the sorrow, May looking back in memory help comfort you tomorrow" - Unknown. And I felt thankful that they went together and that they had each other. You never know whats going to trigger the grief.

Remote Member Care Specialist Florida Blue Salary, Atkins Apprenticeship, Articles I