depressed boyfriend broke up with me

then said "I Love you" for the first time. A relationship may be affected in many ways if one of the partners has some mental disorder. I wrote him an extreme long message saying all this about how much I love him and also about how I reallt badly dont want this to be a breakup especially since we both love eachother SO much. There are a lot of stories here about the break up because of the depression (thank you so much to everyone for sharing) but does anyone have a bit more perspective on how these situations actually evolve? I told him a week ago that i accept that he needs to be alone to figure himself out and that all I can say is that "i love you and want to be with you." You have no idea when (if ever) the pain will stop. I understand that sometimes depression can change the dynamics of a romantic relationship. So keep in mind that your depressed ex-boyfriend doesnt want your help right now. The only difference is that depressed dumpers blame the breakup on their depression whereas normal dumpers dont. So dont think that hell run back to you the moment he feels better. I knew he was depressed, but he didnt want to admit it for a while. He told me to focus on myself too and work on myself and whenever Im sad to use that as motivation. It tells him youll soon want him to reach your standards and meet your needs, so hed rather not stick around for that. Thank you for sharing. Im just so confused as the best way to be with him if it is depression. Ask him if there is something else making him feel so down and low. After the breakup he still asked if I was ok and I started opening up on my issues and told him I was also guilty of bottling up issues, was not in the right space to handle his sons situation better and isolated myself and slowly becoming a weight on him. When we broke up he told me the break up was neither our faults, that it was our trauma and he just couldnt meet my needs, that all he did was hurt me and I deserved better than him. Weve only been broken up two days and weve gone NC. Aside from that, it is important to know if his depression was caused by a specific situation, or if it is something they are still struggling with because if that is the case, they might not go back until it is resolved. How are you feeling? If there was something that wasnt as great or emotionally unhealthy in the relationship, it might be hard for them to come back to it.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[336,280],'psychreel_com-leader-4','ezslot_11',116,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-leader-4-0'); Having a mental illness doesnt make it impossible for a person to have a relationship. We were committed, we had goals, we had projects, we had a future together. Why Did My Ex Unfriend Me But Not Block Me? Thats because he may not let go of the negative thoughts and emotions he associated with you. A breakup caused by depression can be difficult to foresee and interpret. Does he miss me? I also found out that he had stopped medication prior to the breakup because he felt like they werent working as he has started getting suicidal thoughts again (he has also written suicidal notes recently, however Im not sure if this is true or not). Because of the pain thats been hurting you for weeks, youre starting to project your unhappiness onto your boyfriend. But this is related to some matters in his life and the relationship. She said she needs time and space to work on herself and she hopes that in time when she feels better, that well try and get back together, when shell have a clear fresh mind. First thing that came on his mind is his relationship. Sometimes guys break up with their girlfriends because of depression. I have been in no contact since 2 weeks now. He also said that the breakup was something he had not thought about earlier, but since a few days only. Because they ran out of energy, they just take the blame and make it seem like their partners have nothing to do with their loss of feelings even though they know thats not the case. Although it wont help you get him back, it will give you some clarity and perhaps even closure. Our relationship feels like a burden to me now. He did speak with a counsellor and the counsellor suggested he get out of any relationships he is sabotaging. We love each other & I was honestly shocked when he blindsided me with a breakup. We had planned our future together, about getting an apartment and maybe having kids. Boyfriend mention to me he didnt want to go to see his granddaughter because he didnt have the energy. If your ex is going out a lot, sleeping with other women, and having a good time, he obviously isnt depressed or having a hard time coping with stress. Not only that, a person can become depressed because of the imbalance of their brain chemistry. I would try to make plans and he would always say "maybe" and then eventually would agree, although sounding like he had no interest. They cant just fix everything they need to fix because they think their exes are a big part of their issues. At some point, he started thinking If I break up with my girlfriend, I can finally start focusing on myself instead of having to worry about her problems. Hope you are keeping well! After I got these thoughts out of my chest I knew I had to move on.I know I am doing all the right thing now I have exercised regularly; I have decided to get out of my bubble to get a job again to be involved with people/society; I have decided to refresh my wardrobe and look to feel good again about myself. It made him think that he didnt have enough time, energy, willpower, and love to stay in a relationship with you and that he needed to find happiness without you. There's a book about male depression that's quite good - "I Don't Want to Talk About It" by Terence Real. Why did my depressed boyfriend break up with me? 3 days ago my boyfriend of 5 months broke up with me. In my heart though there is a very big hole. They are quite doubtful about their potentials and suffer from constant conflict about their own self worth. She said she doesnt love me the same way as before, that she doesnt feel happy anymore. She is doing a psychology degree at her college, and thats how she realized she might be bipolar and learned more about her symptoms and disorders. Many people are familiar with the five stages of griefdenial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. And he believes him. He is supporting his adult son. Our last night together was great. Remove Ads Nina85352392 over a year ago If you feel your husbands/boyfriends depression is no more tolerable and breakup is the only option available, do not leave them untreated in the mid-way. She decided to break up because she doesnt want to keep being with me while she cant love me to the fullest, and hoping she wont keep feeling this way and wont hurt me while going through everything else that is going on in her stressful daily life. When he broke up with me he was so cold and distant, as if he were a completely different person. He does suffer from depression and anxiety issues and is on medication. By no means does this happen all the time as many relationships work even when both people in the relationship are depressed. I also dated a guy for six months, had a crazy connection, then he broke it off because he was depressed and lost. But i am so heartbroken. Looks like we went through this horrible experience on the exact same day. More often than not, the stronger person eventually loses respect for the depressed person and thinks of him or her as a burden. I told him Id always be here for him and how much I love him. Your partner did not choose to be in depression, remember that. He just knew he couldnt bear it. It doesnt feel like it was time. I'm also glad you think you have great qualities such as being a hard working independent woman. I am in no contact, its been 2 weeks. Its just happening to me hes been depressed badly and been blocking and unblocking me pushing me away hes told me hes drinking to much and needs to love himself but he loves me he has now again blocked me. My boyfriend and I broke up a couple of months ago. To me, it feels like everything accelerated so fast and I dont understand where his feelings went. I realised this was recent I experienced the same just a couple of weeks after you and knew exactly how you felt. Sometimes we have problems, and we need to have the knowledge and strength to deal with them. We ended up being friends for a year, becoming best friends and he asked me out last July. His mother became ill which he had to take care of her and his own medical issues. These emotions are likely a natural part of losing touch with someone who mattered to you. My boyfriend of nearly 5 months just broke up with me, saying he was too messed up to be in a relationship. Did you guys talk again? Tharu. Theyll be there for you whether you ask them to or not. This can make it hard for them to be around people, even if the person, their partner in that matter, is supportive and understanding. Everything seemed perfect, we had a beautiful, mature relationship for 2 years. Mine has less depression,(bizzare creative spurts of painting and playing the piano) but mood swings peaking into euphoria most of the time. Everything in our relashionship went well, as usual, until when she started her 2nd year of college in September 2020. He could come back after hes overcome depression but dont count on it. Loads of people with mental health conditions are able to enjoy long lasting, fulfilling, happy relationships. I love him too much to watch him move on with someone else, that want him to be happy but I cant watch it. By answering these questions, youll have a better understanding of whats going on inside your ex-boyfriends head. I am sure he will further regain the trust and love he had for you. My boyfriend is depressed and yesterday he broke up with me, he told me that he wasn't happy and he didn't have the time to give me the attention that I deserve. I desperately wish he had gotten help or spoken to me before he decided our relationship was too much work but I also am so angry because it feels like he didnt fight for us in any kind of way. You can find a therapist at BetterHelp who can help you learn how to cope and address it.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[580,400],'psychreel_com-medrectangle-4','ezslot_3',106,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-medrectangle-4-0'); In case you are new to all this, lets understand a little about what depression is. You shouldnt feel too bad and think that hes secretly looking for you to care about him and help him. So we broke up. I understand he wants to work on himself and I actually think thats a good thing. How long did it take? He said he doesn't know what he wantsso i said "so you love me, but don't know what you want?" It means that he needs to work on improving his coping mechanism and staying in love even if you dont always reach his expectations. Also, that he still wants me in his life, but can't be romantic with me. 3) Do depressed people go through the same stages of dumpers remorse as others? Hell try to be happy for a while and will feel like he is. Me and my girlfriend have been in a long distance relashionship for almost 3.5 years now. What Eckard means is that people depend on external sources for happiness and your ex will probably as well. Because I still so badly want to be concidered his girlfriend etc. Depression makes a person feel numb. Mature couples support each other no matter what emotional difficulties theyre going through. From the following article My depressed boyfriend broke up with me, you will gather information about the criticality and consequences of having a depressed partner. With proper communication you will be able to understand the true nature of your partners mental illness thereby helping him in getting a proper cure. I just want him to be happy and I wish I could help him. Your ex-boyfriend doesnt think you can help him with his predicament. Hi! If your boyfriend broke up with you because of depression (and didnt just pretend to be depressed), his emotional well-being meddled with his ways of thinking and slowly forced him to fall out of love with you. When he finally decides to break up, understandably many feelings will arise. Motivating him during times of distress and helping him follow a disciplined lifestyle may reduce his depressive symptoms. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. If your ex-boyfriend has a history of depression or his family members have suffered from depression before, you must consider his depression a serious matter. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[336,280],'psychreel_com-leader-1','ezslot_7',110,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-leader-1-0'); If you feel, after the breakup, there is still some space and desire to reconnect, especially if all this is new to you, communicating with them, trying to understand how they feel, and maybe being by their side in looking for help can be a good way to rekindle the relationship. I never asked him not to be her friend just not to bring her up because it brought back a lot of trauma for me. So if your boyfriend broke up with you because of depression, dont immediately assume that his only issue is his mental health. What is way more important than your relationship is your partners health. If his view of you changed, he might not as hell date other people. It might be good to start considering what to do in the future about this relationship. Im going through the same thing. Making someone happy is a difficult skill 3 More answers below Anonymous 7 y Fear of getting hurt: Sometimes, depression is so difficult to deal with anything else feels too scary. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. If your boyfriend broke up with you because hes depressed or unhappy, you can be certain he didnt make a quick decision. Other than genetic inheritance, an individuals experiences,environment and perceptions plays an important part as well. But if he dates other people and fails, he could get hurt again and need someone to help him get through rejection. He said he still loves me, but that it's not fair to me when he needs to be alone all the time. I told him I will wait for him while he works things out. There are many types of depression, but we wont talk about all of them today. You should take him to a professional who will be able to dig into the root causes behind his problems. He's been very honest with me about his depression, or so I thought. So focus on your pain rather than his. Even if you cannot stay with your partner, please help them get proper treatment and medication. I know, for a fact, he suffers from a depression. On Sunday he was still texting me hearts So now Im sad and confused. I am still grieving right now and will share my story. If you want him back then you're going to have to make a few changes. He said he was sorry for things not working out and that he didnt have the energy to try. What is way more important than your relationship is your partners health. Hi, I'm actually going through the exact same thing with my boyfriend. She doesnt feel herself. Depression is such a condition which can seriously affect interpersonal relationships. His friends had taken him to a psychiatrist & has been on medication ever since! Your blog & articles truly helps me find my way during these tough times. My girlfriend is actually going through major depression, she also think she might even be bipolar, since her mom is also bipolar. You feel like your assistance was for nothing and that youre not good enough for him. I wish you are doing very well now after 20 days. You deserve so much better, youll be thankful that Im leaving you. He was crying while saying this to me. Is it possible hell come back to me when hes feeling ready? Because they have problems, they often look for negatives in others and by doing so, ruin their own relationships. Thats why he started to crave a life without you and detached completely. Follow Posted 4 years ago, 5 users are following. If you have any questions or comments about this article, feel free to write it in the section below. Another aspect is concerning how the relationship was. The patient is trapped in a cycle of excessive worry about the past, present and future. Show him the correct path towards recovery. 2) Is there any chance hell be back? You can help them, if they want, to look for treatment, or to just hear them out when they dont feel good. When your partner is suffering from depression, he or she does not have a control that could be exercised voluntarily to stop the symptoms. Advice on a break with . My emotions at present are like an R rated version of a Magic Eight Ball in the hands of an over-caffeinated child. I wish I could help him, I wish we could be the happy us that we used to be. Hi everyone, I am in my early 20s and my boyfriend of 1.5 years broke up with me because he's depressed. That way, youll exude high levels of self-control and show him that you understand what hes going through and that you truly care about him. I'm so sorry this is happening to you and, unfortunately, you aren't alone (or maybe that will make you feel better). Its not your fault I promise its me. Each article is written by a team member with exposure to and experience in the subject matter. He told me he didnt treat me the way I should be treated and I dont deserve that because Im an amazing person. Genetic inheritance may be a cause behind your partners depression which he has not got any control over. Its difficult to read that he has associated me with negative feelings like stressors but it also helps me to understand how we got here. When he broke up with me, he told me he couldn't be in a relationship right now and that he needed to be alone to figure his head out. Everything went for the best, and we would travel to see each other during summers and winters. This protective effect disappeared if an adoptive parent had major depression or if the adoptive home experienced parental death or divorce during childhood/adolescence. Your boyfriend is this little thing we call.. Bipolar. Dont let yourself get caught up in their diagnosis, enjoy the relationship as you would with any other one. I did drop a letter off at his home when wasnt there. Its different from the rest because its tricky to understand and hard to respond to. He couldn't explain much to meit was like, he didn't even know why he was feeling like this. Im feeling sad but better as days goes on. he says how he wants to be best friends and then later date but Im so scared we wont get to do either of those.

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